(real) one-hit wonder of the week – “Heaven (Must Be There)” | EUROGLIDERS | 1984.

Between late 1979 and the end of 1989, there were nearly 500 (real) one-hit wonders of the 80s that reached the BILLBOARD Hot 100 just one time, a list that includes Soft Cell, Gary Numan, Timbuk 3, The Church, Bronski Beat, Nik Kershaw, The Buggles, The Waitresses, Ultravox and two different bands named The Silencers.  Once a week or so, I’ll highlight a (real) one-hit wonder for you.

As I was pouring through the lengthy list of (real) one-hit wonders of the 80s that I haven’t written about yet, I came across some fun ones (like “Turning Japanese” by The Vapors, “Oh Yeah” by Yello and Total Coelo’s “I Eat Cannibals”), the surprising artists who were (real) one-hit wonders on the Hot 100, but not on your radio (like The Waitresses, George Thorogood, XTC and The Replacements), the novelty songs (like “Take Off” by Bob & Doug McKenzie, “The Curly Shuffle” by Jump ’N’ The Saddle and “Pac-Man Fever” by Buckner & Garcia), the ones that make you go, “WHAT THE WHAT?!” (like “OWWWW!” by Chunky A – AKA Arsenio Hall), the songs that were No. 1 U.K. hits, but charted low here in the U.S. (like “The Only Way Is Up” by Yazz & The Plastic Population and the not-so-PC-and-hasn’t-aged-well “Shaddup You Face” by Joe Dolce), and ones I will love forever (like “Born To Be Alive” by Patrick Hernandez, “Under The Milky Way” by The Church, “Just Got Lucky” by JoBoxers, Nik Kershaw’s “Wouldn’t It Be Good,” “Someday, Someway” by Marshall Crenshaw, “A Girl In Trouble (Is A Temporary Thing)” by Romeo Void and M’s “Pop Muzik”).

But the (real) one-hit wonder of the 80s that caught my attention tonight was Eurogliders, and a song that didn’t catch my attention until many years after its 1984 release – the lovely “Heaven (Must Be There).”

The Pop / Post-Punk / New Wavers out of Perth, Western Australia formed in 1980, and in 1982, their debut album, PINK SUIT BLUE DAY, gave the (then) six-member band the first Top 40 hit in their Australian homeland, “Without You.”

The following year, Eurogliders switched record labels, with CBS Records (Columbia here in the U.S.), and it proved to be good fit.  The band’s second album, 1984’s THIS ISLAND, shot up to a No. 4 peak on the Australian album chart, and gave Eurogliders their biggest hit, “Heaven (Must Be There).”

The cover art for the Australian 7″ single of “Heaven (Must Be There).”

“Heaven” and its parent album were both released in May 1984, and “Heaven” quickly became one of the biggest hits in Australia that year, peaking at No. 2 and ended the year at No. 15.

From the music video of “Heaven (Must Be There).”

I don’t know if it was the long distance from the U.S., but it took awhile for “Heaven” to make its way onto American shores and into American radio stations, but finally, in the first part of November 1984, “Heaven (Must Be There)” debuted on the BILLBOARD Hot 100 at No. 79, ahead of new hits by Thompson Twins and Bananarama.  For about a month, Eurogliders slowly inched their way up the Hot 100, but stopped for a week at a respectable No. 65, before gliding off the chart a couple of weeks later.  It was their only BILLBOARD Hot 100 hit.  They did, however, also reach BILLBOARD’s (then) Mainstream Rock chart with “Heaven,” climbing all the way to No. 21.  “Heaven” was (also there) on the New Zealand charts as well, reaching No. 6.

The U.S. cover art for the album, ABSOLUTELY (for whatever reason, Columbia Records not only changed the cover art for the U.S. release, but also kept the exclamation point out of the title).

After flirting with international success in 1984, Eurogliders kept their primary fan base in Australia and kept recording, and between 1985 and 1988, they reached the Top 40 of the Australian singles chart five times, including the Top 10 hits “We Will Together” and “Can’t Wait To See You,” both from the 1985 album, ABSOLUTELY!

Eurogliders today (Bernie Lynch and Grace Knight)!

After the ABSOLUTELY! album, there were a number of personnel changes in the band, and in 1989, Eurogliders broke up.  They reformed in 2005 for a couple of years, released a self-titled album, and in 2013, original members Grace Knight (vocals / saxophone / keyboards) and Bernie Lynch (vocals / guitar / keyboards) reformed Eurogliders, they are still together today, and in 2015, released another album, their most-recent, DON’T EAT THE DAISIES.

Another reason I chose “Heaven (Must Be There)” for this blog post is prolly because we are in the hardest, most alarming, frightening and heartbreaking world crisis of (at least) my lifetime.  Some folks on the interwebs suggested this song may be about finding “The Good Place” (brilliant show — binge it!), or, in six letters, Heaven.

Heaven, er, THE GOOD PLACE!  Brilliant and binge-worthy!

Maybe that’s what the songwriters had in mind, but I’m sure everyone has their own interpretation.  Since I discovered this song about 25 years ago, I’ve always loved it, and I think it especially resonates with me right now, because we’re in this “new normal,” which is totally fucking far from normal, and I want to get back to the “old normal,” if there is such a thing.

Thankfully, none of my friends or family has contracted the coronavirus, and I am grateful for that every day, and pray everyone I know and love is safe from harm.  For me, “Heaven (Must Be There)” is just that — we don’t want to live in this place (the “new normal”), and that Heaven represents life post-COVID-19 — families can be reunited, friends can go out and have fun at the restaurant or go dancing or catch a movie, people can travel wherever they want, and I can see Maryhope again, and we can do all of those things.

Foggy or not, a favorite place for me and Maryhope – Kettle Cove, Cape Elizabeth, Maine.  Yeah, I we wish we were there too..

I know this won’t happen overnight (it’s been about two months already), but my hope is that it’ll be safe(r) by the end of the month to at least be able to leave Maine and meet Maryhope halfway, even if we have to stay six feet apart while we’re together.  I pray for that every day…

Me and Maryhope, Pine Point, Scarborough, Maine, 10.24.2019. I want to go to there!  (and by “there,” I mean Maryhope!)

“Heaven, must be there-ere / Well, it’s just got to be there-ere / I’ve never – never seen Eden / I don’t want to live in this place…”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7VnipJMP1A

song of the day – “Sacrificial Bonfire” | XTC | 1986.

You ever notice how the last 10 days of every year are always jam-packed with events and holidays?  You start with the awesome Winter Solstice, then Xmas Eve and Xmas Day (sometimes there are years, like this year, when Hannukah falls around that same 10-day period), and then it’s New Year’s Eve.  There are countries around the globe which have other holidays they observe in those last 10 days of the year as well (Canada’s Boxing Day comes to mind, prolly because Bob & Doug McKenzie remind me about it every year I listen to their version of “The Twelve Days Of Christmas,” from their 1981 comedy album, THE GREAT WHITE NORTH).

Bob & Doug McKenzie, celebrating the Twelve Days Of Christmas in The Great White North, 1981.

I can’t vouch for any other countries, but for as long as I can remember, here in the U.S. anyway, until about 6:00pm Xmas Eve (and to borrow from the brilliant NBC TV show, THE GOOD PLACE),  it’s a forking shirtshow.  I’m sure Mary’s Boy Child, the Lord Jesus Christ Himself didn’t have that in mind about Xmas back in the day.  But, like clockwork, once Xmas is over, and for the last six days of the year, it goes from everything Xmas to everything revisited from the past year — a parade of seemingly endless lists featuring the best and worst of everything from the year almost gone by.

But, December 31, 2019 will not only be the end the year, it’s the end of the decade as well.  And, for me, this decade had some moments, both good and bad…

In this past decade, I lost the best job I ever had (so far), followed by unemployment for the first time in my life, and later temp work (which led to the job I’m currently in, as of this writing, anyway).

The poster for the last regular STUCK IN THE 80s show, 2.12.2017.

The 2010s saw the end of my long-running radio show, STUCK IN THE 80s, after nearly 21 years, with a celebration on my 50th birthday where Maryhope, Jedi Master Shawn Emerick and I braved the Valentine’s weekend blizzard of 2017, the three of us shared the air for one more time together, shut down the station after the show, and I even got to “drop the mic.”

Shawn Emerick, Maryhope and me, WMPG-FM, 2.12.2017, being STUCK IN THE 80s together one more time.

The last couple of years, though, and this year in particular, have been among the hardest in my life.  In mid-December 2017, I lost my biological baby brother, Mark.  In early October of this year, my adopted baby brother Jonn, such an incredible spirit, the father of two amazing girls (ages 11 and 7), and a two-time Iraq war veteran, died unexpectedly at just 32.  And, in early July 2019, one of the strongest and most incredible and loving men I’ve ever known, Maryhope’s dad, Dennis, passed away, surrounded by family from all over.  I haven’t properly written blog posts about them yet, and I promise there will be blog posts, or long distance dedications, if you will, on the way in the New Year dedicated to Jonn and Dennis.

Me and my brother Jonn and one of my favorite photos of the two of us, from Thanksgiving 2017.

The high point of the 2010s, though, for me, is finding the love of my life after a 50-year search, and she was right there the whole time — my best friend, Maryhope.  She has inspired me in so many ways, from getting me into new (old) music to writing this blog, from embracing my inner hippie to running again for the first time in decades (inspiring my training for a 5K for the first time in my life); from eating better, getting me to try yoga, meditation and tea (and loving all of it) to being at my lowest weight in 24 years.  She is the light in my life and the love of my life, and to borrow from a sweet, amazing song by Ben Folds, I am the luckiest.

Me and Maryhope, Pine Point, Scarborough, Maine, 10.24.2019.

This past decade, I’ve had the best New Year’s Eves of my entire life — with Maryhope.  A couple of years ago, for New Year’s Eve 2017, we even took over the WMPG airwaves for eight-and-a-half hours that night, though it didn’t start out that way.  We were only supposed to be on the air for four hours, I believe, in our old time slots on Sunday night, but then other hosts asked if we would fill in for them too.  Four hours turned into six, then to eight-and-a-half, which put us 90 minutes into 2018!  In all the years I’ve been on the radio, I’ve had the most fun (and done my best work) on the air with Maryhope.  We had a such a great time making radio and ringing in the New Year on the air.

The 2017 poster for our epic 8 1/2 hour New Year’s Dance Party welcoming in 2018.

It’s the subject of ringing in the New Year that inspired me to write one more blog post this year, which itself is inspired by one of my favorite songs by England’s XTC that really was the perfect choice: “Sacrificial Bonfire” from the 1986 Todd Rundgren-produced masterpiece, SKYLARKING.

It took awhile, but over the years, I grew to love the music of XTC, and while “Dear God” may have inspired me (and many others) to buy the album, 33 years later, SKYLARKING remains as one of my all-time favorite albums, though interestingly enough, not for “Dear God” (which wasn’t on the original album release). 

NERDY CHART FACT: Out of the 14 albums XTC released between 1978 and 2000 (including two albums by the XTC side project, The Dukes Of Stratosphear), SKYLARKING is still often regarded today as their best album, but strangely enough, it’s their lowest-charting album in the U.K., spending only a week on the U.K. album chart at No. 90.  Here in the U.S., SKYLARKING peaked at a respectable No. 70 on the BILLBOARD album chart, but three of their other albums – 1980’s BLACK SEA, 1982’s ENGLISH SETTLEMENT, and 1989’s ORANGES & LEMONS, all charted higher.

NERDY TUBE-ULAR FUN FACTS: XTC co-founder and drummer Terry Chambers left the band in 1982, and for stepping in on drums for SKYLARKING was Prairie Prince, the drummer for The Tubes.  Prairie Prince was credited on the album as “the part of the time bomb,” while special thanks were given to The Tubes themselves (“who let us use their amplifiers”). 

Vocalist and guitarist Andy Partridge wrote most of the songs on SKYLARKING, while bassist and vocalist Colin Moulding wrote five songs, including the album’s gorgeous closer, “Sacrificial Bonfire.”

The first 10 seconds of the song starts with a soft echo of subtle, yet prominent pounding drums which grow louder with each second, and segues into a beautiful, Pagan-inspired guitar bit that Colin Moulding described in a 1998 interview as “a a touch of ‘The Sorcerer’s Apprentice’ and a bit of Arthur Brown’s ‘Fire’ in it, I suppose.  But I wasn’t moralizing.  It was just that this was an evil piece of music and good would triumph over it.”

Todd Rundgren added a stunning eight-piece string arrangement to the song, and Andy Partridge, in the same 1998 interview, agreed: “It was a good ending to the album, fading deep into the night.  It just leaves you in blackness with the slightest hint that dawn is coming.”

I keep coming back to the lines “Change must be earned / Sacrificial bonfire must burn / Burn up the old / Ring in the new / Burn up the old, ring in the new…” 

2019 had some truly amazing moments in it, like going to New York with Maryhope the first weekend in January and seeing Strawberry Fields, The Met, The Cloisters and unintentionally being part of a street dance routine near Times Square, but overall it was a hard year.  For me, I think “Sacrificial Bonfire” exudes hope that when you “burn up the old” and “ring in the New,” or “reign in the good” and “banish the bad,” there’s that strong chance, that strong belief, that strong, deep feeling inside you that the next year will be better.  And I believe that, I really do.

So, let’s go to take the advice from the boys out of Swindon, “burn up the old” and “ring in the New,” and I truly wish that your 2020 is full of hope and excitement and peace, a new U.S. president, and a much-belated Rock Hall nod for Cyndi Lauper (for starters), and to borrow from John Lennon, who would have been 80 in 2020, I hope it’s a good one, without any fear…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiVhg2_aVtg

XTC, 1986, from L to R: Dave Gregory, Andy Partridge, Colin Moulding.

song of the day #2 – “Holiday” | MADONNA | 1984.

On June 15, 2014, Casey Kasem, host of the longtime countdown program, AMERICAN TOP 40, passed away at the age of 82.  From my first blog post (and prolly some more inbetween then and now), I explained how, in 1979, I was a geeky, lanky and somewhat lost 12-year-old living in Central Maine, had a few friends and not a lot of interest in much of anything, but at some point early that year, I discovered AMERICAN TOP 40, and was glued to it every weekend.  Not only could I hear the 40 biggest songs in the country every week, but also Casey’s cool trivia and facts about the songs and the artists, a trait I treasure to this day.  For me, the show was No. 1 with a bullet.  And still is (thanks to the re-airing of broadcasts of AT40 on iHeart Radio).

In honor of my radio hero, Casey Kasem, for the entire month of June (and now through July), I will be highlighting a song each day (some days will have two songs!) that peaked in the Top 40 of the BILLBOARD Hot 100 (including five (real) one-hit wonders of the 80s), and with every blog post, just like on AMERICAN TOP 40, the hits will get bigger with each post.  On June 1, 2017, I featured a song that peaked at No. 40.  Sometime here in July, I’ll feature a “song of the day” that went all the way to No. 1. 

As Casey used to say on AT40, “And on we go!”

Well, it’s Independence Day here in the U.S. of A. (Happy 241st Birthday America!), and it’s pretty quiet here today in the Central Maine town of Winslow (where I write this).  For the first time in 26 years, there’s no Independence Day parade here (my folks’ house is on the parade route), and no fireworks either (my folks’ house is across the street from where they’d normally be set off, in nearby Fort Halifax Park).  The damn town didn’t even put up the flags on the telephone poles.  I know they have their reasons for not doing the events this year, but I think they could have at least put the flags on the poles for a few weeks leading up to today. 

O well.  My sister and her family are here from Pennsylvania, and there’s still lots of family in the area, so we all got together for lunch earlier, and my brother was headed to the store to buy fireworks.  We’ll see how that goes.  Here’s of the favorite pics I took at 2016’s fireworks display (keep in mind I ordinarily don’t take normal fireworks photos; I tend to go for the alt-shots).  I called this shot “80s album cover fireworks.”

It’s also 47 years to the day when the inaugural AMERICAN TOP 40 broadcast was aired.  Happy Anniversary AT40!  That original broadcast (using the BILLBOARD Hot 100 chart dated July 4, 1970) included hits from artists who would continue to have hits in the 80s, like Stevie Wonder, Joe Cocker, Aretha Franklin, The Moody Blues and Chicago, had Rock And Roll royalty on the chart, like Three Dog Night, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Simon & Garfunkel, Sly & The Family Stone, and it had “The Long And Winding Road” by The Beatles.  The No. 1 song that week? “The Love You Save” by The Jackson 5.

Between 1979 and 1989, more than 40 songs reached No. 16 on BILLBOARD’s Hot 100 chart (the chart AT40 used in from 1970 through 1988, when Casey left AT40), and featured several songs by women (I told you’d they’d be back!), including songs by Quarterflash, Pointer Sisters, Sade, Katrina & The Waves (yes, they actually did had more than one hit!), Roberta Flack, and two from both Aretha Franklin and Stevie Nicks.

Songs that reached No. 16 also included four awesome (real) one-hit wonders Bob & Doug McKenzie (“Take Off”), Godley & Creme (“Cry”), Double (“The Captain Of Her Heart”) and French singer Patrick Hernandez (“Born To Be Alive,” which spent 15 weeks at No. 1 in his homeland of France).

Other notable No. 16 hits are Wang Chung’s “Dance Hall Days,” “Dreaming” by Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark, Electric Light Orchestra’s “I’m Alive” (from XANADU), “Renegade” by Styx, “Rock Of Ages” by Def Leppard, “Synchronicity II” by The Police, “Russians” by Sting, “Super Freak” by Rick James, Duran Duran’s “Save A Prayer” (a song released a few years too late to be a bigger hit here in America), and Madonna’s first single to reach both the Hot 100 and the Top 40, “Holiday.”

Hard to believe, but in the beginning, Madonna signed on for only two 12” singles with Sire Records.  I think she was just playing it smart.  Her first single, “Everybody,” was released in early October 1982, when she was 24 years old.  Though it was a No. 3 hit on BILLBOARD’s Dance chart (a double-A-sided 12” single with “Burning Up”), “Everybody” just missed the BILLBOARD Hot 100, stopping at No. 107.

Though “Everybody” failed to reach the Hot 100, both Sire co-founder Seymour Stein and Madonna were convinced something big was going to happen; maybe not right away, but soon.  They were right.

A happy day (“holiday?”) for Madonna and Sire Records co-founder, Seymour Stein…

Sire released Madonna’s self-titled debut album in late July 1983, and the first single from the album, “Holiday,” was released in early September 1983.  It was produced by her then-boyfriend and future longtime collaborator and remixer, John “Jellybean” Benitez, which would prove to be an incredibly brilliant move.

“Holiday” debuted on the BILLBOARD Hot 100 a couple of days before Halloween 1983 at No. 88.  Songs by Alabama, Linda Ronstadt and The Stray Cats all debuted higher that week, but “Holiday” would outlast them all.

By early December 1983, Madonna’s first Hot 100 hit became her first Top 40 hit, making a steady climb up the chart until stopping at No. 16 for two weeks in January / February 1984. 

Around the globe, “Holiday” enjoyed a nice chart run, and reached the Top 10 in the U.K., Australia, Belgium, Germany, Ireland, the Netherlands, New Zealand, and even reached No. 25 on BILLBOARD’s R&B chart.

“Holiday” was still on the chart in March 1984 when her follow-up single, “Borderline,” debuted on the Hot 100.  That would go on to become her first Top 10 hit, reaching No. 10 and spending 30 weeks on the chart.  Then, “Lucky Star” would go on to reach No. 4 in late October 1984, and the rest, as they say, is history. 

Dick Clark interviewing Madonna on AMERICAN BANDSTAND, 1.14.1984.

Patrick Hernandez and Madonna on the beach in France…

Madonna famously performed “Holiday” on AMERICAN BANDSTAND in mid-January 1984 (video link below; for now anyway), a couple of weeks before “Holiday” peaked at No. 16.  In the post-song interview, she told Dick Clark how she went to Paris because of “Born To Be Alive” by Patrick Hernandez (another aforementioned member of the No. 16 chart club), and Patrick offered Madonna the opportunity to be a backup singer and dancer on his tour.

In that same January 14, 1984 interview, Dick Clark asked, “We are a couple of weeks into the New Year.  What do you hope will happen, not only in 1984 but the rest of your professional life?  What are your dreams?”  Madonna did not hesitate when she replied, “To rule the world.”  And, by the end of 1984, she did just that.  “Like A Virgin” ruled the Hot 100 and BILLBOARD’s Dance chart, and would rule the Pop charts in Australia, Canada and Japan, and would reach the Top 10 in at least 12 other countries. 

QUIRKY CHART FACT: In regards to Madonna’s comment about ruling the world, in the Spring of 1985, Tears For Fears nearly ruled Madonna’s chart world with their huge hit, “Everybody Wants To Rule The World,” which was No. 1 three songs after her No. 1 hit, “Crazy For You.”  (And, when the year-end chart for 1985 was tabulated, “Crazy For You” was ranked No. 9, and “Everybody Wants To Rule The World” was ranked No. 8.  But, admittedly, 1985 belonged to Madonna on the Pop charts and then some all over the world.)

There have been a number of covers of “Holiday” over the years, including one by Sheffield, England Synthpoppers Heaven 17, who covered it in 1999.  A couple of years after the Madonna original, a Dutch Rap duo called MC Miker G & DJ Sven took the backing music of “Holiday” and created a rap over it, calling it (appropriately enough) “Holiday Rap” (which also borrows from Cliff Richard’s 1963 U.K. hit, “Summer Holiday”).

“Holiday Rap” was a huge hit in Europe, topping the charts in the Netherlands, France, Germany and Switzerland, and reaching the Top 10 in the U.K., Australia, Norway and Sweden.

Everyone who knows me knows that Cyndi Lauper is my all-time favorite recording artist, and has been for a long time.  Back in the 80s, though, Madonna did rule my Pop music world.  I have pretty much every 80s 12” single, every album, and even a VHS of “The Virgin Tour.”

I don’t know when it was, but there was a time back in the 90s (maybe upon my move to Portland, Maine in 1994) when Cyndi became my favorite female recording artist over Madonna.  I still loved Madonna’s work, but Cyndi impressed me, even more so in the past 15 years (and not just because Cyndi was kind enough to be my first big interview on my STUCK IN THE 80s radio show). 

Since 2002, Cyndi Lauper has released an album of Standards, an Acoustic album, a Dance record, BILLBOARD’s No. 1 Blues album of 2010 (and near-Grammy Winner for Best Traditional Blues album; MEMPHIS BLUES), plus she’s had a reality TV show with her husband and young son, written an autobiography, wrote the score to the musical, KINKY BOOTS (for which she won a Tony Award), and last year, released an album of old Country standards.  Her version of Patsy Cline’s “I Fall To Pieces” still gives me goosebumps, it’s so damn good.  Most importantly, in 2008, Cyndi co-founded the True Colors Fund, a non-profit charity meant to educate folks about LGBT issues and to end LGBT youth homelessness.  How is it Cyndi’s not in the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame yet?!

Cyndi Lauper celebrating the meeting of her friend, Tony…

In comparison, the last Madonna album I truly loved is now 12 years old (the amazing CONFESSIONS ON A DANCE FLOOR from 2005, which stayed in my car for an entire year).  But, irregardless, Madonna (who turns 59 in August 2017) continues to do things on her terms, which has been a covenant of sorts for her since her music career began 35 years ago, and you’ve got to respect that.  I certainly do, even if I’m not so much digging the music as of late. 

I know “Holiday” isn’t about Independence Day, or any particular holiday, but today, it felt right to share, and yes, I am taking some time to celebrate.  You should too.  May the 4th (of July) be with you…

“If we took a holiday yeah / Took some time to celebrate / Just one day out of life / It would be so nice…”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbSTzlzoUi4

 

song of the day – “Valley Girl” | FRANK & MOON ZAPPA | 1982.

On June 15, 2014, Casey Kasem, host of the longtime countdown program, AMERICAN TOP 40, passed away at the age of 82.  From my first blog post (and prolly some more inbetween then and now), I explained how, in 1979, I was a geeky, lanky and somewhat lost 12-year-old living in Central Maine, had a few friends and not a lot of interest in much of anything, but at some point early that year, I discovered AMERICAN TOP 40, and was glued to it every weekend.  Not only could I hear the 40 biggest songs in the country every week, but also Casey’s cool trivia and facts about the songs and the artists, a trait I treasure to this day.  For me, the show was No. 1 with a bullet.  And still is (thanks to the re-airing of broadcasts of AT40 on iHeart Radio).

In honor of my radio hero, Casey Kasem, for the entire month of June, I will be highlighting a song each day (some days will have two songs!) that peaked in the Top 40 of the BILLBOARD Hot 100 (including five (real) one-hit wonders of the 80s), and with every blog post, just like on AMERICAN TOP 40, the hits will get bigger with each post.  On June 1, 2017, I featured a song that peaked at No. 40.  On June 30, I’ll feature a “song of the day” that went all the way to No. 1. 

As Casey used to say on AT40, “And on we go!”

In his far-too-short lifetime of 52 years, Frank Zappa released a whopping 62 live and studio albums, dating back to 1966 and including his work credited as the Mothers Of Invention.  Impressive.  And perhaps even more impressive, since 1994 (Frank sadly died of prostate cancer in early December 1993), the Zappa Family Trust has released 47 posthumous albums, for 109 albums total.  Incredible.

One of those albums is the only album he released in 1982, SHIP ARRIVING TOO LATE TO SAVE A DROWNING WITCH.  And that 34-minute, six-track album contained Frank’s ONLY Top 40 hit on the BILLBOARD Hot 100 – “Valley Girl,” with his daughter, Moon Unit Zappa.

You read that right – Out of 62 albums released while Frank was on this Earth, he only had one Top 40 hit in his American homeland, but I’d almost bet my record collection he was quite alright with that.  Before “Valley Girl,” Frank had hit the BILLBOARD Hot 100 twice before (and missed it another two times), reaching No. 86 in 1974 with “Don’t Eat The Yellow Snow” and No. 45 in 1979 with “Dancin’ Fool.”  (Both 1976’s “Disco Boy” and 1980’s “I Don’t Wanna Get Drafted” just missed reaching the Hot 100.)

Frank Zappa had his biggest international hit with 1979’s “Bobby Brown,” a song about a wealthy and misogynistic student named Bobby Brown (“the cutest boy in town”).  This LGBT-related hit spent six weeks at No. 1 in Sweden and also reached No. 1 in Norway, No. 2 in Austria, No. 4 in Germany and No. 5 in Switzerland.

SHIP ARRIVING TOO LATE TO SAVE A DROWNING WITCH was released in May 1982, and of the six songs on the album, the three songs on Side One (including “Valley Girl”) were studio recordings, while on Side Two, those three songs were all recorded live from his Fall 1981 U.S. tour.

The history of how “Valley Girl” (co-written with his daughter, Moon Zappa) came about in two parts – (1) The song started out from a bass riff Frank had written, and (2) Moon Zappa (then 14 years old) had a desire to work with her dad.  And a song was born.

A scene from 1983’s VALLEY GIRL.

According to Kelly Fisher Lowe, Frank Zappa’s biographer, Frank woke his daughter up in the middle of the night, brought her to the studio (most likely the one in his home) to re-create conversations she would have with her friends.  With Frank Zappa not being a fan AT ALL of the San Fernando Valley (he called it “a most depressing place”), this song was an intentional attack on the behavior of those stereotypical “Valley Girls,” and on the slang (or “Valspeak”), of which Moon pretty much supplied Frank all of the content for the song.  She had picked up this “Valspeak” from hearing it at parties, bar mitzvahs and the Sherman Oaks Galleria (or “The Galleria” for short, er, Valspeak).  Both 1982’s FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH and 1983’s VALLEY GIRL (a film inspired by the song of the same name) were shot there.

Moon Unit Zappa was a fan of the legendary KROQ-FM in Pasadena, CA (a station that pre-dates – by over a year – The Beatles’ first No. 1 record in America), and she persuaded the station to play “Valley Girl” during an interview at the station. 

Why don’t I own this already?!

Well, it worked.  There was suddenly a buzz about it.  Sure, it was a huge hit with listeners of the (also) legendary Dr. Demento, but the airplay for “Valley Girl” didn’t stop there.  It was heard all over the country.

The 1980s had its share of big “novelty” hits, but 1982 was especially a big year for novelty hit singles, like Buckner & Garcia’s “Pac-Man Fever” (No. 9) and Bob & Doug McKenzie’s “Take Off” (No. 16; featuring Geddy Lee of Rush).

In mid-July 1982, a month or so after its release, “Valley Girl” debuted on the BILLBOARD Hot 100 at No. 75.  Five weeks later, it seemed to have stalled at No. 46, but regained its chart “bullet” a week later, and entered the Top 40 at No. 34 in early September 1982. 

But, like many “novelty” songs, the “novelty” of it tends to wear off sooner than your traditional hit singles.  “Valley Girl” spent two weeks at No. 32 in mid-September 1982, and, “Like, Omigod!” it was gone from the Hot 100 by mid-October 1982.  It also reached No. 12 on BILLBOARD’s Mainstream Rock chart.

There might be a little in this blog post…

I don’t know as much about Frank Zappa as I should, but I do know he was an amazing musician and songwriter, and hero of the First Amendment, when he, Dee Snider of Twisted Sister and the late John Denver all took on Tipper Gore and the Parents Music Resource Center (PMRC) in 1985, opposing censorship of any kind on their record albums and those generic “Parental Advisory” stickers that would appear on the front of those records.

Frank Zappa, admirably testifying before the United States Senate.

In his testimony before the U.S. Senate, Frank strongly stated, “the PMRC proposal is an ill-conceived piece of nonsense which fails to deliver any real benefits to children, infringes the civil liberties of people who are not children, and promises to keep the courts busy for years dealing with the interpretational and enforcemental problems inherent in the proposal’s design.

“It is my understanding that, in law, First Amendment issues are decided with a preference for the least restrictive alternative.  In this context, the PMRC’s demands are the equivalent of treating dandruff by decapitation. … The establishment of a rating system, voluntary or otherwise, opens the door to an endless parade of moral quality control programs based on things certain Christians do not like.  What if the next bunch of Washington wives demands a large yellow “J” on all material written or performed by Jews, in order to save helpless children from exposure to concealed Zionist doctrine?”

Frank Zappa and Twisted Sister’s Dee Snider in 1985, fighting the good fight.

Well, despite the spirited testimony of Frank, John and Dee, “Parental Advisory” stickers did eventually get put on record albums, CDs and cassette tapes.  But, when was the last time you honestly saw one those warning stickers on an album?  I can’t even remember.  I would like to think their testimonies from more than 30 years ago had something to do with that.

SORTA FUN FACT: One of the albums to receive the “Parental Advisory” sticker (a year after it was implemented) was Frank’s 1986 Grammy-winning album, JAZZ FROM HELL (though I couldn’t find a shot of the album with the sticker), and may have gotten the sticker because of the use of the word “Hell,” but most likely for the song title, “G-Spot Tornado,” which is funny, because this was an album of all instrumentals and no lyrics (and definitely no talking about G-Spot Tornadoes).  So, riddle me this – how can you have a Parental Advisory sticker for explicit content if there are no lyrics on the entire album?!  Good going Tipper – you lost out on listening to a cool, award-winning album of instrumentals because Frank Zappa pissed you off and you slapped the sticker on there anyway.  Either that, or she was pissed off because Al never ever slipped her the “G-Spot Tornado.”  I’m going with the latter (although I think Al is a lot cooler than he was in 1985).

A really amazing album.  I advise parents and kids alike to check it out and often…

As much as I love “novelty” songs (including “Valley Girl”), I once read that Frank Zappa, Rock music’s leading satirist for many years, was concerned about the label given to him about being a “novelty artist” or “novelty act.”  I mean, would you consider The Beatles to be a “novelty act?”  Of course not.  But, back in 1966, “Yellow Submarine,” the No. 2 title track of their 1968 animated film, was labeled as a “novelty hit.”

Frank Zappa in 1982, perhaps with a future “fuck you” to Tipper Gore…

From what I know of Frank Zappa and his work, I would never call him a “novelty act,” though I would call “Valley Girl” a “novelty song,” mainly because – ironic or not – it did hit on a popular time and a popular way of life in the early 80s in that particular part of the country (I’m guessing they still don’t speak “Valspeak” there, do they?).  Another thing with novelties – most of them wear off, whether it’s songs or films or love or cars.  No one still does the “Macarena” anymore, right?  Christ, I hope not.  I know Al Gore did once in public back in the day (although I think Al is a lot cooler than he was in 1996).

23 1/2 years after he passed away, Frank Zappa continues to inspire musicians from all over the globe, not to mention relatively new bloggers like myself.  Frank, wherever you are, thanks for keeping it real, for all the swell tunes, and for fighting the good fight (with cancer and with the PMRC).  You are missed.  Of that I’m sure.  Totally…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfn9n1w3J4o

xmas song of the day – “Twelve Days Of Christmas” | BOB & DOUG McKENZIE | 1981.

Happy Holidays!  Since it’s the first year of my blog, and since it’s the last year for my Annual Holiday Show on my little 20-year-old 80s radio program, STUCK IN THE 80s (on WMPG community radio in Portland, Maine), I wanted to present to you THE 31 DAYS OF 80s XMAS SONGS, or, 31 of my favorite 80s holiday musical treats.

It’s December 15, 2016 here in Central Maine, USA, and with just 10 days until Xmas, we’re definitely now into the 12 days of Xmas, so what better song to feature on Day 21 of THE 31 DAYS OF 80s XMAS SONGS than a song from above – no, not Heaven!, but rather the Great White North (also known as Canada in some parts of the world): the wonderful and fun “Twelve Days Of Christmas” parody by Bob & Doug McKenzie.

In 1981, Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas took their popular fictional characters (Bob & Doug McKenzie, respectively) from Second City Television (SCTV), and made a comedy album, GREAT WHITE NORTH.  The album was a huge success in both Canada, where Bob & Doug originate (Rick and Dave are both Ontario natives), and here in America.

The GREAT WHITE NORTH album spent six weeks at No. 1 on the Canadian album chart, was certified Triple-Platinum, and received the Juno Award (the Canadian equivalent of the Grammys) for Comedy Album Of The Year.  Here in the U.S., it reached No. 8 on the BILLBOARD album chart, was certified Platinum and was nominated for a Grammy Award for Best Comedy Album (losing out to Richard Pryor).

GREAT WHITE NORTH not only featured their hilarious Top 20 hit, “Take Off” (with Rush’s Geddy Lee on vocals), but it also featured one of my all-time favorite Xmas songs, their parody of the traditional Xmas carol, (most of) the “Twelve Days Of Christmas.”

For this year’s Black Friday edition of Record Store Day, the “Twelve Days Of Christmas” single was offered as a special limited edition 7” single.  I hope to pick mine up soon.

It’s funny – I’ve gotten so used to (and loved) Bob & Doug’s parody of the “Twelve Days Of Christmas” over the last 35 years, I’ve forgotten most of the lyrics to the original, traditional Xmas carol!  Oopsie!  “Five golden toques!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-E5vDV4wUoE

xmas song of the day – “2000 Years Of Love” | 54.40 | 1988.

Happy Holidays!  Since it’s the first year of my blog, and since it’s the last year for my Annual Holiday Show on my little 20-year-old 80s radio program, STUCK IN THE 80s (on WMPG community radio in Portland, Maine), I wanted to present to you THE 31 DAYS OF 80s XMAS SONGS, or, 31 of my favorite 80s holiday musical treats.

It’s Day 8 of the 31 DAYS OF 80s XMAS SONGS, and we’re heading up to The Great White North for the act responsible for today’s “xmas song of the day.” No, it’s Bob & Doug McKenzie, but rest assured we’ll get to their “Twelve Days Of Christmas” when we get a little closer to the actual twelve days of Xmas.

The Canadian act I’m referring to here is a band called 54.40 (also known as 54-40), named after the Fifty-Four Forty or Fight! slogan that came about during the Oregon boundary dispute in the 18th Century, which, if successful, would have expanded the Oregon Territory into the lower half of British Columbia (up to the parallel 54°40′ north).

The band 54.40 (hailing out of Vancouver, British Columbia, but sounding like they could have come from Athens, GA) has been around since 1981, and prolly their most famous song, “I Go Blind” (from their self-titled second album) was actually a radio hit for Hootie & The Blow-Me Fish in 1996, 10 years after the release of the superior original.

In 1988, when the Warner Bros. group of labels (including Sire Records, Reprise Records, Slash Records and more) was putting together a promotional double album for that Xmas, 54.40 was recruited, along with the likes of R.E.M., Ofra Haza, Daniel Lanois, Los Lobos, actress and singer Julie Brown, Throwing Muses, Lou Reed and Pee-Wee Herman, for songs covering many genres and Xmas IDs that radio stations could play at their leisure during the holiday season. 

The end result was WINTER WARNERLAND, featuring a healthy dose of 37 songs and Xmas IDs on the double album set  (replete with red and green vinyl albums).  WINTER WARNERLAND was presented to radio stations, record stores, music journalists, recording artist managers and producers as a holiday gift for Xmas 1988.  And what a gift it is.

It took me years to find a vinyl copy (my dear friend Spindle has had one for almost as long as I’ve known him), and I finally found a copy on CD.  It’s on the way for this Xmas; kind of a gift to myself.  54.40’s lovely “2000 Years Of Love” is a gift too.  If you’re not familiar with it, or 54.40, I encourage you to check the song (and the band) out…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JVpwlxB1f4